Good Enough: Why the Inner Critic Doesn’t Get the Last Word
I am meeting with two seasoned pastors for spiritual direction. Both seemed to be struggling with some negative sense of self-worth, self-esteem, and self-value; what I like to call “not-enough-ness.” They had a nagging sense of regret, failure, and not having done enough, well enough, for long enough, for enough people. They were plagued by a vague feeling of guilt that they hadn’t accomplished what they were supposed to.
As I reflect on their challenges, I am reminded of the evils of our culture, as described in the book I’m currently reading, The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer. He notes that “hurry-sickness,” an actual disease now designated by psychiatrists, is doing violence to our souls.
Then my mind fast-forwarded to a disturbing documentary, The Social Dilemma. If you haven’t taken the time to view it, you should. It’s the complex reality of the attacks through social media on the youth of this generation, resulting in a massive upsurge of suicide in direct correspondence with the introduction of more accessible social devices and media venues.
It strikes me that if we are not lovingly and solidly grounded in our own precious identity, knowing we are deeply loved and cared for by God, we become easy prey for the evil onslaughts of this world. The idea of “tough love” surfaced in the 70s or 80s for parents raising teens. It had a rough edge, meaning you don’t give in to things your kids want when you know they are not suitable for them. Having raised a rebellious teen, I see the ups and downs of this parenting model. But it’s the term “tough love” that I think needs to be redefined in this generation and culture.
We all need to practice “tough love” on ourselves. Not a narcissistic kind of “navel-gazing,” “I’m better than you” self-love, but a solid, firm, unmovable certainty about ourselves. We are made in the image of God, for starters! The Maker of the Universe created human beings who bear a resemblance to Him, and you, after centuries of humanity, still bear that image!
What exactly that all means is one of the great questions that theologians and scholars spend hours debating. For the rest of us, let’s just be satisfied to agree that since we obviously aren’t omnipresent, omnipotent, or omniscient, this God resemblance must have something to do with our inner self, our heart, our soul, our spirit, our psyche, our conscience. We are set apart from the animal kingdom; we are more, and we are enough. God saw what He made, and it was good! Genesis 1.
The earth was good.
Humans were good.
You are good.
Yes, yes, I know—we blew it when Adam and Eve gave in to the desire to be even more than good enough. Their ambition got the better of them, and sin was invented. We’ve been living and dying with it ever since. Yet God even had a plan to reconcile that historic tragedy. Behold, the entrance of Jesus, the Christ, onto the earth’s scene and into our story of soiled humanity! Through His birth, perfect life, ministry, suffering, death, and resurrection, we have been promised that we can be “born again,” experience a “new life,” and be “reconciled to God.” For all who believe will not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16.
But, for our purposes, let’s return to the fact that:
You, a human being, were made by God.
God said you are good.
Sit with that a moment.
God
said
you
are
good.
God, the ultimate judge of good and bad, right and wrong, evil and righteousness, beauty and ugliness, junk and preciousness, said you are good.
Let’s go one step further. If He was satisfied with the being, the human, He had created, He didn’t see the need for an “add-on” to pass the quality control test. Therefore, He also gave you this stamp of approval: good enough! Not perfect, but good enough!
When was the last time you completed anything and thought with satisfaction, “That is good enough”? Have you ever been content with your work without having a nagging feeling that you could have polished it up just a bit more, could have made it just a bit better, smoother, more attractive, more appealing, more marketable, more competitive?
I recall a showdown from many years ago with my rather perfectionistic hubby. In our younger years, we bought an old fixer-upper home and did most of the renovations ourselves. One project involved laying a new floor in our kitchen. It was a large, highly polished vinyl sheet. Since we were not professional floor-layers, we did our best, but we ended up with a small air bubble in the middle. My husband was so upset about this flaw in the job that he almost made himself sick. He couldn’t forgive himself and accept it for what it was. It was not good enough! He grumbled openly about it for days until I couldn’t stand to hear about it anymore. I actually yelled at him, “I’m content with the floor. It’s good enough! I don’t want to hear another word about it. I’m happy with it, and you need to be too. Let it go!”
We are all far too susceptible to letting some sinister inner voice tell us over and over, “You’re not good enough; nothing you do is good enough.” It’s an evil narrative that plays over and over in our heads until we believe it and spend our miserable lives trying to appease it.
If we continue to listen to and believe these inner voices from the father of lies, this is the kind of miserable, unfulfilled life we will experience: never content, never joyful, never enough.
I would love to help you gather your courage and tell Satan, the perpetrator of these lies, to go back to Hades, where he belongs. Tell him, “I am good enough!” God in Christ says so, and “What I do is good enough!” and frankly, “I really don’t care what you think!”
I don’t care, and neither should you!
Stay tuned for Part 2.
Carol is a graduate of the three-year Emmaus Formation Centre Certificate program for Spiritual Direction. She also brings more than 30 years of leadership experience in the Christian evangelical tradition, where she offered pastoral care and chaplaincy support for many throughout life’s challenges. She began her private spiritual direction practice in 2020, and her passion is to be a companion for others on their spiritual journey and help them find renewed joy, hope, and rest in their relationship with God.