BY: DONNA-MICHELLE RANCOEUR

“Even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me.” Psalm 139:10
“Every good and perfect gift is from above.” James 1:17

Being a practicum student at Emmaus Formation Centre was challenging, humbling, and yet inspiring. As a beginner, I worried about whether I was really doing spiritual direction properly. I wondered what to say, how to listen well, how to use silence, and how to hear from God. Over the year, as I gained more experience, I started to become aware of the benefits and gifts in spiritual direction.

How do I do this?

Initially, I worried that my directees would have nothing to discuss in our sessions, but most of the time, even the quieter ones, had a lot to say. Though I didn’t have fancy skills yet, I tried to offer a calm, non-judgmental space in which I listened carefully and asked open-ended questions to help them articulate what was on their mind. Directees seemed to appreciate the opportunity to share about their everyday lives, concerns, and where they saw God at work.

Often, I wondered whether we were really “doing” spiritual direction. After all, some directees seemed to share mainly surface-level details of their lives. I remained genuinely curious in my listening, gently inviting them to delve deeper if they wished. Often our sessions were not spent discussing intense experiences with the Divine, but about slowing down and looking for God in the everyday.  We would pause and take notice of where God was nudging them or savour a small moment when they sensed God’s presence, that in their busyness, they might have rushed past. My supervisor was invaluable in helping me look back and recognize when spiritual direction was taking place.

After some sessions, I thought that maybe nothing significant had “happened”. It became essential for me to “give” the directee and the situation back to God in prayer. Getting outside helped me let go of my worries by engaging my senses and increasing my awareness of God at that moment. This reminded me that God was, of course, continuing to work with the directee after the session, in His own perfect timing, and filling out a Contemplative Reflection Form (CRF) after every session was helpful for me. It enabled me to look back on the sessions with a more balanced perspective and see that, yes, the Holy Spirit had been present during the sessions.

Listening & Silence:

In spiritual direction, we listen deeply to the directee and to God, but we also need to be aware of our own inner dialogue. Sometimes this three-way listening was a challenge.  How do you hear God when the directee talks a lot? How do you remain conscious of your own reactions to what is being said, while listening for God? How do you know when to share your own thoughts or when to heed nudges from God? All this requires concentration, discernment, and prayer! Indeed, I am still learning to discern when to share any of my own thoughts (sparingly), and I pray, “that song that came into my head, those words of scripture, that image of a loving embrace, Lord, do you want me to mention that?”  

Another challenge was knowing when to suggest a pause in the session, to offer silence, a time to be really present with the Lord. I noticed that silence was significant to maintain the sacredness of the space. For me, as a director, the silence helped me feel calmer. Especially if the content of a session was intense, silence was a way for us to refocus and remember that God was there with us, too.

Surprise Gifts:

Every spiritual direction session was unique and distinct. I never knew what path a session would take, and this was humbling for someone who prefers to be fully prepared and in control. Directees often answered questions in delightfully different ways than I expected. Sometimes they had insights or felt closer to God during a session. It was inspiring to catch glimpses of the ways the Holy Spirit moved in a directee’s life.  

While my focus was always on the directee, I was surprised by how much I, too, was blessed by our sessions. For example, periodically, I noticed that a directee’s story was affecting me personally. I would put it aside to examine after the session by myself, or with my own director or supervisor. Often, the Holy Spirit was speaking to me, too.

Being able to meet with directees during my Emmaus practicum was truly a gift. My supervisor, instructors, and classmates supported me well. Despite my initial worries about “how” to do spiritual direction, I came to realize that my humility made me more reliant on God’s direction, and my gentle curiosity helped create more space in the sessions for the Holy Spirit to work in surprising ways!

Donna-Michelle Rancoeur is a recent graduate of the Spiritual Direction Certificate Program at Emmaus Formation Centre.  She delights in making space to listen to others as they notice where God is at work in their lives. She also enjoys leading small contemplative groups that seek to draw closer to God by engaging prayerfully with Scripture. Prior to becoming a Spiritual Director, she worked as a Registered Nurse in Geriatric Psychiatry and then as a Registered Reflexologist. She has a B.A. in Psychology and an MSc(A) in Nursing from McGill. She is blessed with two young adult children and lives in Oakville with her husband, a dog, a cat and lots of plants.