Family Spirituality: Jesus Meets Me Where I’m At

Jesus’ burden is so light; taking on his yoke gives real rest for the soul. 

I was introduced to the concept of “family spirituality” in the first course of the Spiritual Formation program, and what a refreshing and releasing idea it is. As a parent to young children, there are times when I find myself grieving a previous season of life when I could spend longer stints in solitude, meditation, retreat, and fasting. Family spirituality, however, recognises that a sense of connectedness with God happens through providing care and nurture to dependents—in my case, my young children. It gives me permission to “let it count”, and to even lean into spiritual practices that I move through by default as a parent, tasks that may look quite unlike the classic spiritual disciplines. Simply naming family spirituality has helped me move beyond wishing for time and freedom to be “more spiritual” to appreciating the unique opportunities I have to know different facets of God from where I’m at. 

I was reflecting over a few weeks on the meaning of silence from God and the quality of his silence. One rainy afternoon I was tidying up some things outside when my two-year old gently stopped me and asked if we could sit in the rocking chair on the porch and watch the rain together. With her on my lap we enjoyed the next ten minutes in contended silence, I believe mutually soaking up each other’s love. This timely gift was an experiential illustration of God’s invitation to me in and through his silence.

Before having kids I would have said that I had an intellectual understanding of the Father heart of God to some degree, but now I get to experience it in a new way as a parent. I taste the Father’s joy when my toddler wants simply to be with me—to sit on my lap and watch the rain together. I feel the Father’s simultaneous grief and unshakable love when my child willfully goes against instruction intended for their wellbeing. I understand myself like a helpless infant, completely dependent on God’s protection and provision for life in every sense. With support from my spiritual director I am learning to linger in kairos moments like these, both in real time and revisiting them in my memory. This practice has empowered me to savour these times; it enables me to enter into meeting with God in the present as well as, mysteriously, in the past.

While I find affirmation in the idea of family spirituality, I also feel a sense of dissonance. This may be, in part, because I have more to unpack in the concept, but I think there is a piece of me that feels that I have wasted time during these short early family years by not soaking up all there is to experience, to give and to receive. This tension informs my rule of life in this season (developing a rule of life also happened to be the final assignment for this course). In an effort to lean into connecting with God in my role as a parent, I am creating a virtual prayer board for my spouse and children. I have been including passages from scripture and lyrics from worship songs that articulate my heart's prayer for them. An emerging theme I am noticing is that God is inviting and equipping me to be a conduit of the Father’s love, peace, grace (...etc.). As his goodness is transmitted through me, it also lodges itself in me and changes me. I notice my heart shifting, becoming softer, more patient, kind, and gentle. This is how I experience family spirituality. 

I have come to a place where I can appreciate the goodness I received in the past through the practice of classical spiritual disciplines, but I recognise that I don’t need to try to make the new wine of my young family rhythms fit into the old wine skins of a previous season of life. Jesus continues to meet me where I’m at -- his constant kindness is unsurprising, though I find the expression of his kindness is often unexpected. Thanks be to God for the lightness of his burden. 

Heidi Lucas is a first year student in the Emmaus Spiritual Formation program. A mom to three amazing kids under five years old, she is on a leave from her work as a public health nurse. Heidi is energised when people discover God speaking to them. In the winter Heidi enjoys knitting and a good cup of coffee; in the summer she loves to go on canoe trips with her family.